For my Tech-Moms 2.0, Data Analytics cohort capstone project, I collaborated with a business called Heaven on Earth Massage & Apprenticeships founded by Christina Owens, to design a survey aimed at understanding the needs of single moms on their journey to healing during and after divorce. Together, we sought insights into their unique challenges, the resources they found helpful, and their ideal support if time and money were no obstacles. Divorce is never easy, and for single mothers, the journey of healing and rebuilding is a unique and often challenging experience.
HOW DID WE FIND THESE SINGLE MOMS
Below are the findings from our Google Forms survey, which also explored their struggles, reflections on personal growth, and the tools they believe are essential for recovery. The survey was shared through Utah-based Facebook groups, direct outreach, my LinkedIn network, and the Tech-Moms Slack platform. We received 43 responses, each offering valuable insights into the experiences and needs of single mothers.
WHO ARE THESE SINGLE MOMS
These single mothers who participated represent a range of age groups and backgrounds, each bringing unique experiences that shape their perspectives. The majority of single moms, 48%, are between the ages of 30 and 40, while a significant 45% are 40 or older. This shows that Divorce often occurs later in life, presenting unique challenges such as managing income, navigating retirement, and re-entering the dating scene at an older age.
The majority of single mothers in our survey have been divorced for less than five years, while 29% have been single for more than five years, and 9% are currently in the process of divorce. Additionally, the group includes those who have never married or are widowed.
These single moms represent diverse household sizes, with most caring for at least one child and some raising as many as seven. Together, on their own they are nurturing 130 children, each on their own path to healing. These children have faced the pain of divorce and, in some cases, the trauma of abuse. Challenges no child should ever have to endure. Their resilience is remarkable, and the strength of the mothers guiding them is undeniable. But resilience alone is not enough, both these mothers and their children need our collective support to truly heal and thrive.
Balancing work and home life is a significant challenge for single mothers. The survey data reveals that many single moms work full-time, with a mix of satisfaction levels regarding their current jobs. Household income varies, but economic stability remains a common concern, especially for those raising children alone.
This shows the financial pressures that single mothers often face and how these pressures affect their ability to focus on their well-being.
Why single moms left…
In our survey of single mothers, we uncovered a heartbreaking but vital picture of the factors that led to the end of their relationships. A significant number mentioned infidelity, emotional abuse, substance abuse, and psychological disorders as deciding factors. Many women endured years of abuse, with several expressing that they stayed in the relationship for their children, only to realize later that the environment was too damaging to continue. Some single moms faced severe emotional turmoil due to their partners' addictions, abusive behavior, or unaddressed mental health issues, while others described experiencing financial and sexual abuse alongside neglect. This shows an urgent need for support systems that address the challenges single mothers face on their journey to healing and rebuilding their lives.
Support That Made a Difference
During their hardest times, single mothers found crucial support from various sources that helped them and their children through immense challenges. Many received help from family and friends, who provided emotional encouragement, childcare, and financial aid. For some, church communities and religious leaders offered spiritual guidance, practical help, and small but meaningful gestures like holiday assistance or meals, which made a big difference. Therapists and support groups were life-changing for several, offering a safe space to process trauma and feel understood. Others found comfort in neighbors and community members who assisted with daily tasks, winterizing sprinklers or offering rides. A few even mentioned the impact of strangers who had gone through similar experiences, providing both companionship and valuable advice. These diverse forms of support underscore the importance of community and connection, showing that even small acts of kindness can have a profound impact on single mothers as they rebuild their lives.
Our survey highlights the most beneficial therapies for single mothers, with massage and talk therapy leading the way (76%) for stress relief and emotional support. Trauma healing retreats, along with personal training and yoga, also play a significant role in boosting overall well-being. Expanding access to these holistic resources through community programs and affordable options could greatly support single mothers on their wellness journey.
The business behind this data request is actually a massage therapy practice, so it’s worth noting there could be a bit of a natural lean toward massage therapy as a top choice if time and money were no object. This doesn’t take away from the powerful impact of massage, but it’s good to keep in mind the context as we look at these results.
Talk therapy is the most widely used and impactful form of support among single moms and their children, with an impressive 85% reporting its effectiveness.
Advice Straight from Single Moms Themselves:
Many single moms who took our survey shared heartfelt advice they would offer their past selves.
Many wished they had been kinder to themselves, allowing space to mourn and acknowledging their resilience. They emphasized the importance of giving themselves grace for doing their best, especially in difficult times. One Single mom said, "I wish I could remind myself to have more compassion for myself... I now take this lesson with me through all of life."
Recognizing the need for strong boundaries was a recurring insight. Many would have advised their past selves to set firm boundaries, avoid self-blame, and leave unhealthy relationships sooner. One mother reflected, "Stand up for myself, set boundaries, and stick to them."
Several would encourage their younger selves to lean on others for support. Many mentioned reaching out for community resources, therapy, and support groups earlier. They recognized that having a strong network could have made their journeys easier and less isolating.
Some expressed regret over neglecting their health, career, and happiness. They advised their past selves to focus on physical and mental well-being, pursue career goals, and not feel guilty for enjoying life. One respondent shared, "I would have
taken more time on self-care and been more kind to myself."
Many wished they had recognized signs of abuse earlier, allowing them to leave toxic situations sooner. They emphasized educating themselves on abuse and addiction, building awareness that could empower them to make healthier choices.
It’s inspiring to see these single moms, who have been through so much, now eager to use their hard-earned wisdom to support and uplift other single moms facing similar challenges.
Recommended Therapies, Places, and Resources from the Single Moms themselves:
Tech-Moms! I have faith that this program will lead to a higher paying job. The single mom mindset group is impactful!
Heaven on Earth Massage & Apprenticeships- Heaven on Earth Massage & Apprenticeships, This is the single-mother-run business I collaborated with for this project. She is dedicated to empowering and healing single moms. They offer discounted apprenticeship massages as well as a year-long massage apprenticeship program that focuses on empowering single moms, their careers and personal healing. This program provides a unique opportunity for single mothers to gain financial independence while prioritizing their own emotional and physical well-being. Christina Owens-Massage and Emotional Processing-Specializes in teens and women who have experienced abuse 801-400-3257 Saratoga Springs & Zoom Sessions
Anna Smith CSW, Mental Health Therapist - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/anna-anguiano-smith-lehi-ut/1284089
Heidi Reid in pleasant grove-www.compassionateconnectionscounseling.com
Andy Skelton (Preferred Family Clinic-Provo) AVY counseling in Orem
Utah Valley Counseling - especially Allyson Evans
Danielle Musik-https://numinus.com/contact-us/
JJYS has a preventative program that provides free therapy for our family that allowed us to go weekly.https://jjys.utah.gov/
BetterHelp online counseling - it was discreet, affordable, and I can switch therapists at any time. I found an amazing therapist that helped me during and after my abuse.
Family haven- prevent and treat child abuse and trauma-https://family-haven.org/
People Helping People-https://www.phputah.org/
Life Changing Services-https://www.lifechangingservices.org/
Saprea- https://saprea.org/
In Weber county we have the Community Engagement Team through the Weber-Morgan Health Department that if the family is TANF eligible allows for families to have a Resource Integration Couch that will coach families on how to utilize resources in the community that could set their family up for success.
Liz Dalton- My mediator was INCREDIBLE and very affordable.
I have found the most healing through subconscious work - neurofeedback, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, and ketamine. Ketamine has allowed me to feel loved again. And the love comes from within, which is really beautiful.
I had already joined a health fitness coaching about a year before the divorce. It’s called Abram’s women’s health and fitness coaching the Kiazen method training…
Also joined another coaching group called Awaken U with Danny Morel about the month before divorce
The Empowered Divorce podcast-
WORTH groups-https://healingwithworth.org/
Kaylin Schwartz-Integrative Processing Technique- Specializes in children and teens (801) 900-1878 Saratoga Springs, Lindon & Zoom
Innsaei Child and Family Therapy Orem-https://www.liveinnsaei.com
Kristena Eden-Family Relationship Therapist & Coach-(801) 885-6732 Bluffdale & Zoom
Emotional Superpowers Program-https://www.emotionalsuperpowers.com
Looking ahead, what can we do…
Make a significant impact by coming together to support their journeys of healing. From the data we received from the amazing single moms! Here are a few meaningful ways to help single moms in Utah:
Expand Access to Therapy and Wellness Resources: Collaborate with therapists, wellness practitioners, and community organizations to create affordable, or even donated, sessions for single moms. Talk therapy and massage therapy have been shown to provide tremendous relief, and establishing funding options or sliding scale rates could make these invaluable resources accessible to more mothers in need.
Offer Education and Resource Awareness Programs: Create workshops and classes that educate single moms on available resources—such as financial aid, housing support, legal assistance, and local community programs. Knowing how and where to access these resources can empower single moms to take positive steps for themselves and their families.
Support for Childcare: Many single moms face challenges in balancing work, family, and personal well-being. By expanding access to affordable or subsidized child care, we can help them access the support they need without additional worry.
As a community, we can help to lift the burdens single mothers carry, creating a foundation of support that empowers them and their children to thrive. Let’s take action together and be the change that makes a difference in their lives.
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